Alley Meeting

I found this scarf with a straw sun visor around the house...we must have acquired it in 1958 in Spain. It hides my balding head pretty well. I figure most of my hair will be gone by the end of this week. I also found another wig and when I tried it on and combed it, it looked like Justin Bieber's hair...egads! So, I fluffed it a little and put on my brown felt derby and I looked more like Harpo Marx. I will need to work with the wig. It is a mousey blond color.

I was able to go to the Clown Alley meeting last nite. Tuesday, the 28th. It was really great being around my clown friends again. After a short business meeting we all took turns sharing a gag or two. Wally was first. He clowns at Childrens Hospital and had a Bucket of Fun. He pulled out one gag after another and they were all hilarious!
Lullabelle did a magic rope trick and used Patch as a volunteer. Clare the Clogging Clown did a pantomime of a chinese woman washing her laundry. Funny Bones...oh yes, Funny Bones brought me to the meeting, since I can't drive anymore. He was also nice enough to bring Good Grief with us ! Anyway, he does quite a bit of Christian clowning and he showed us some magic tricks that he does at the Church functions. Zilcho also did a rope trick. He likes to work with rope and usually it is a rope Pet that he works with. That is what he did last nite. He had taught his pet rope to do some tricks and it was part of a Christian ministry act. Patch volunteered to assist many of the clowns, and I think he also did a gag. Something to do with a paper towel. I showcased my walk-around gag with a clown fish Nemo look-a-like that is stuck in a lense of my glasses. It apparently is irritating my eye and it takes awhile to figure out that it is not actually in my eye but in my glasses. He was supposed to be in a plastic bag, so when I pull the bag out of my pocket to see how he escaped, I find Willy the Orca halfway through the plastic bag. Evidently, Nemo was trying to free Willy.
Mickey did a magic trick that he had predicted some 50 years ago when he was ten years old. Apparently he had written on a piece of paper that he would perform the trick on Feb 28, 2012 and would meet a woman named Roberta Del Mundo and he also predicted which card she would select from a shuffled deck of cards. The message had been sealed in an envelope for 50 years and when Patch opened the envelope and read the prediction that had come true...well, it was astounding and humorous...except for the little part where he flubbed the name of the woman---much to Mickey's consternation.

I presented Mickey with a Drum Major Baton that I had invented and worked on all by my lonesome over the course of several months in my Secret Clown Laboratory. I hope that he uses it for some of our parades this Spring, Summer and Fall. I added a horn to it in case he forgets his silver whistle. I thought it was put together well...but then, I did make it...
So, it was great to be with the clowns again !  I am sure that I left someone out of this story line, but I will just have to rectify that in a future post.
So far, this past week I have been able to control my pain...but, I have had severe fatigue the last couple of days. I am ready for another round of Chemo though. I should be having it this Friday. I asked Buttons if she would come and visit me as she is a Kettering Hospital Clown, but she wasn't sure if clowns were allowed in the chemo-therapy ward of the hospital. I guess I will find out soon enough, as I plan to go to my treatment in full Clown Regalia...minus the makeup....the chemo has a tendency to cause rashes and it also might be confused by the clown makeup and attack it. I would hate to have a splotchy face to go with my bald pate !

That's all for now...Life is Good, Life is an Adventure ! 

Bad Hair Day

Well, it has finally started to happen...I got up this morning and bathed and combed and brushed my hair and everything was hunky-dory. Since I had a Dr appt this morning , I began to get dressed and after putting on my shoes I ran my fingers through my hair (as I am want to do) and, behold, I had a handful of hair. I tried my other hand to see if that would achieve the same dastardley result---more hair. My wife came in the room and I said, "Watch this, I'm losing my hair". I repeated the procedure for her benefit. I have a nice, sporty red/white wig that I guess I will be wearing for the time being. No, I did not wear it to see the Dr. I wanted him to concentrate on my appt.
He said that my neck mass looked very promising and that I should be having 5-6 chemo treatments. He also said that if the neck mass disappeared then it was likely that the tumor in my left lung would be gone too. That sounded like good news. We'll see....I trust him and I trust in the Lord.  He said that since I hadn't had nausea from my first chemo that it would be unlikely that I would experience it in subsequent treatments. He did say that I would continue to have the peripheral neuropathy )tingling and numbness in my fingertips for awhile...also, the pains associated with the chemo and the cancer. He said I was doing well. He asked about my appetite and I told him that I had a good time with food.
So, for now, things are looking cool. I think my walking exercises and breathing exercises help. Of course prayers and friends and family and Clowns are in my arsenal too !!!
Life is good...and, what an adventure !!!

So far So good

Since my first Chemo, I only had 3 days of uncomfortableness...it was flu-like symptoms and pain...the pain was like a battlefield. It was as if the medicine was roaming throughout my body and finding cells and body parts that it didn't like. My knees felt as if I had bumped them on something hard, my ribs felt broken and repaired one by one, my shoulder and neck felt stabbed, my left ear felt as if it was being pulled away from my head, my fingers and toes felt tingling then numb...on and on. All of these incidents acted in concert and would last for a few seconds to a few minutes. I still managed to take daily walks even though it was cold outside.
That all happened about 5 days after my treatment. Since then I have felt fairly well. I have the neck and shoulder pain and ache but it subsides after I take my pain medication. My appetite is still voracious and sometimes I eat too much. The pain medication causes extreme constipation and the major laxatives and stool softeners were not helpful. However, my brother told me about Louis "Satchmo" Armstrong's cure-all for this: Swiss Kriss. This product is all natural and is surely a blessing ! It is available at Walgreen's and I sing its praises!
I don't like taking pain medication, but it is vital, it seems. It only lasts about 3 hours and the dosage is supposedly 1 every 6 hours. I try to manage it at 1 every 4 hours. I try to go longer, although everyone says you need to stay on top of it, steady. But, I still am trying to see if I can go every 4 hours and sometimes space it as far as 8 hours.
I try to walk for 20-30 minutes at least once a day and sometimes twice. I also try to visit friends everyday. The main thing that I want to do is accomplish something constructive everyday. I make a list of things to do and try to do as much as I can. But, just doing trivial tasks, i.e. mailing a card and some forms, practicing some clown ideas, reading scripture and magazines, running errands...just trying to accomplish things I spend maybe two or three hours and then I am all in. I don't know if I am tired or if the medication messes with me or it my motivation wanes. I wish that I could get up and go through a normal 8 hours of activity.
Some of this may be related to my sleeping habits. I am still sleeping in an over-sized recliner (about the size as a twin bed) with a lot of pillows. The few time that I tried to lay down in a bed it hurt my neck so bad that I have been afraid to attempt it again...although I am going to try again very soon.
So, it seems that the side actions from my chemo have been not bad so far. I see the Dr. in a day or so and will find when my next round will be...and, then I will see how I fare with that.
Life is good...Life is an adventure...and, I just got 4 rolls of clown stickers in the mail and am anxious to go do some clowning...

Mardi Gras

Well, the Valentine decorations are still up but my wife noticed Mardi Gras was on the Calendar for next Tuesday, so she has begun to set the household theme for that.
She made a nice beef roast today in the slow-cooker. With carrots, onions and potatoes. It smelled so good all day that I could hardly wait to dive into it! It was great !
I was in a lot of pain off and on all day. I thought that I had been really lucky with my chemo side effects until a couple of days ago. Today it felt like both of my knee caps had been broken. Then it felt as if each of my ribs were being broken and then put back together. I had a lot of tingling and numbness in my fingertips and toes...intermittent. My back felt like I had been standing for days. All of this was coming and going throughout the day. And, at one point, it felt as if someone had grabbed my left ear and was trying to rip it from my head. It hurt but it was more of a nuisance because it would hurt to a crescendo and then subside. I know now what people have told me about having flu symptoms and roller coaster moments from the chemo. I called my Dr. the other day to confirm an appt. for next week and then asked when my next chemo would be. She sounded kind of quiet and sympathetic (though I didn't divulge any problems) and said that the Dr. would always see me first before scheduling a chemo...just to make sure I was ready and able to have another session. I didn't realize what she meant at that time...but, I do now, ha.
Well, I guess I have a lot coming up as they treat my cancer. I am not afraid or worried...somewhat concerned, but I know that, in the end, that I will feel better. That I will have some relief and normalcy to look forward to.
I am still eternally grateful for my family and friends and clowns and the Church and the Lord.
I take one or two walks everyday to keep myself moving and to have some exercise so that I can remain strong. And, I try to visit friends every few days to keep a social pattern. And, of course, the internet keeps me connected.
Tomorrow is another day...another adventure...more chances to look for Light and Laughter and to look for ways to help others.

Valentine Day

Had a nice, relaxing day with my beautiful wife...we stayed home...she decorated the house with a Valentine Tree and lots of hearts. I made some balloons---Hearts. Hopefully, today we can go out and do something together.
It has been nearly a week since my first chemo and I was doing fine. Today I started getting all sorts of little pain explosions. It felt like needles and knife wounds popping-up all over my neck and head and shoulder and chest. They were brief  and irritating. Then, when they finally subsided, my joints and bones started aching. I couldn't get comfortable standing or sitting and it is still difficult to just lie down. We were able to have a nice dinner, pizza rolls and ice cream and fritos...snacking feels better than a full meal right now.
We are both really independent so I am uneasy when she has to see me so uncomfortable. She will do anything for me, but I guess I just don't want to feel like I can't be doing anything. My appetite is still fine and I have a happy mindset. I am motivated, yet I feel helpless. There is pain, then 2 hours of relief and as I get motivated to start working on something---the pain comes back. It would be nice if it would be a little smoother...more predictable.
We'll just have to ride these next few days out and see what happens. The weather should be nice enough that we can maybe go for walk. I am fortunate and happy to have such a good wife and companion...

First Chemo

I had my first Chemo today...as you can see I have already lost some hair...my church provided transportation to the chemo for me. A real nice guy took me over there. His wife is the choir director. We had a very nice visit on the drive over. I am so blessed that our church has these services available.
The clowns, Folly and Marty, have been sending me emails telling me what to expect at my chemo sessions. They have been very helpful. They told me that the staff and nurses were Wonderful---and, they were ! I had my own room and would be able to watch TV, walk around, read, etc. I wore the clothes I came in with, so did not have to put on a gown or anything different. I had brought my MP3 player loaded up with CBC pods and Bob and Ray and other old time radio shows along with some music.
 The nurse hooked me up to the IV and began loading me up with medicines for side effects. 2 for nausea, benadryl, an anti-acid that was actually for a different effect (rash?) and some others. "Gee," I remarked, "you are giving me more meds for side effects than you are for chemo!"  She just smiled, as she explained each one to me. I read her the emails I had received and she thought they were very helpful. She answered all of my questions. At one point I must have looked a little concerned because she asked me if I was all right. I told her that I just felt a little bit of warmth in my abdomen. She told me that the Benadryl would cause that and it would only last a few seconds--which it did.  After she had loaded all of the side effect meds into me she told me she had to check on someone else and that she would be back soon. It was at this point that I wish my wife would have come with me...anyway, later on a woman came in carrying a tub with two big bags of medicine pouches and they looked large and liquid and heavy. She sat them down. I started to listen to Bob and Ray and to get into a napping zone, although I wanted to remain awake and to know what all was happening at all times. I started to fall asleep, but I noticed that I wasn't aware of myself doing any breathing and it scared me a bit. So, I started doing my breathing excersises and whenever I would stop I would notice that I didn't have a conscious feeling of breathing, to my chagrin. This was a wee bit disconcerting, but I wasn't in distress and I wasn't gasping for air. I guessed that I just was breathing super light. So, I nodded off to sleep with Bob and Ray talking their nonsense in my already nonsensical head...the nurse came in at one point and I heard her saying something and she was fiddling with my IV. I guessed that she was loading up the Chemo drugs. Later, much later, I awoke about 130pm...I had been there since 8am and they had told me that it would take 4-5 hours. I expected it to be pretty much over. An aide came in and I asked her if I was about done. She looked at the time and at the IV pole that had the meds in bags on it and told me that one was finished and the other one would be done by 330pm. She asked if I had someone coming to pick me up.
 So, I called my wife and told her to be there at about 4pm and I should be done. She asked if the guy that brought me said anything about picking me up and I told her that I would have her pick me up.
 So, I left the hospital at around 4pm or a little bit after and the Chemo went very well. The nurse told me to take my anti-nausea medicine when I got home and that I would probably be tired the rest of the day.
On the way home, I began to tell my wife about the chemo, but she interrupted and asked me if I cared about our relationship. I said "What?" and "Is this a trick question--like 'Do I look fat in these jeans' "  She replied "See, you never want to have a discussion...and, why are you selling your car?"  I, at this point was flummoxed.  "Well, for one thing, I am selling the car to pay some med bills and for another I can't do any driving right now".
"Did the doctor tell you that you couldn't drive?"   "Yes"  "Which one?"  "All of them!! I am on pain meds and the mass on my neck is right where the seat belt comes across my neck and the mass is pressing on my jugular vein as well as several other blood vessels and I shouldn't be endangering myself or others by driving around"

When we got home I turned on the hall light and took off my coat. I then started to take my anti nausea meds and to write it on the calendar in the hallway. She turned off the light "I pay the electric bills". So, I meekly went into my computer room with my calendar and my  flashlight and wrote down my meds and emailed my brother and my son to tell them that everything went all right. Then I retired to my recliner and slept until 4am this morning.
I am blessed to have family, friends, church, clowns and good in-laws to talk to and that care enough about me to include me in their lives. And, I am blessed to have a wife that can be a thorn in my side and keep me grounded and remind me that I should be working instead of being sick. Life is Good. And, what an Adventure !!!   Hiding the Bald Spot

TechFest2012

I was

talking to Jerry from the Ohio Chapter of the Mars Society the other day...TechFest is coming up in a couple of weeks and I really hope that I can attend. I have been going there to volunteer since 2007. It was also the inspiration for the Mars Camp we had at the Mars Society Convention that we had here in Dayton a couple of years ago. I started out volunteering for the Mars Society and one time I decided to twist some alien sword balloons...it was a huge hit and brought a lot of people to our display. There are usually over 3000 kids during the 2-day affair and I know I made a lot (a LOT) of balloons !!! Sunflower came down to help me one year, even! I usually take my Segway and JoJo the Robot also. I let the kids play with JoJo and they are very good with him. The local battallion of the Star Wars Storm Troopers and Darth Vader provide security for the event. Across from the Mars Society display, the Wright State department of Insects lets visitors hold a tarantula and giant Madagascar centipede ! There are many, many hands-on activities for the families that attend. Every year now, when I show up, the organizers always ask if I will be doing balloons--that people are asking where I am at. I had originally wanted to just talk about Mars Exploration but now do balloons...of course, I do a lot of patter about Mars while I am doing the balloons so everything works out. Here is the link to the TechFest for this year--it is their 10th year !!!  http://www.ascdayton.org/TechFest/

I went over to Gary and Susan's Saturday. They were having a small birthday party for one of her former health aides. I did some magic and some balloons. I only clowned for a few minutes because I was tired from all of the stuff these past two weeks--biopsies, etc. And, medication. I will be happy when I can greatly reduce the medication. Of course, on the 9th I will be finding out about Chemo and that might take a little something out of me. As long as they can take away the swelling in my neck it will help. It feels like I am wearing a shirt that has a way too-tight collar.

  At least my appetite hasn't suffered...I getting ready to make myself some Tuna Salad and have a couple of sandwiches. Life is Good...

In and out of Stitches

We arrived at the hospital at 9am. After registration they drew some of my blood and then packed me off to the 5th floor for prep and landing. That means fitting me for a gown, putting a port in my wrist for an IV and taking all of my vitals. At 1025 the wheeled me downstairs to Radiology for the actual biopsy. It was virtually the same type I had back on December 13th while I was in the hospital. They used sonogram or ultrasound (I get those mixed up) to determine where to place the needle for the biopsy. I think they took 3 or 4 samples. Our good friend Linda kept my wife company while I was getting the biopsy. She has been crocheting a Prayer Shawl the last few times that I have seen her.  It looks like beautiful and nearly complete. Why she crochets while around me, I have no idea. I have a suspicion that it is not a Prayer Shawl for her sister, after all, but possible a Death Shroud for me...if it is I wish she would have used orange and purple yarn instead of turquoise...

I was released from the hospital at 1pm and my wife and I headed downtown to my surgeon's office to have the stitches removed that were still there from the biopsy of January 24th. The surgeon and his staff are outstanding and enjoy my humor. I, of course, passed around my stool sample and I made him a Tear-a-gami Sun Bonnet since it was so nice outside today. We arrived home at about 4pm and I went for a walk. Then I ate some salmon and a boiled egg and took a nap for a few hours. The swelling on my neck still hurts and sometimes the pressure builds up in it that freaks me out...I think it is about to explode. The row of stitches looks rather gruesome, so I will have to try to cover them when I go out.
I will see the oncologist next week and then will have a clear picture of where I will be going from here...