Friday, June 1st 2012 was my last Chemo Treatment. Went to Church Saturday nite. On Sunday, I was up at noon and went to visit my good friends Susan and Gary. I stayed for a couple of hours and then, feeling tired, headed home. Usually the side effects really kick in on a Monday, but they are a day early...probably due to a relief that it is the last of the treatments, probably the build-up of some stress as to what to expect next.
My side effects have been fairly predictable and I still consider myself fortunate that they are not as bad as some people must experience. I find that my feelings in regard to the side effects are consternation, curiosity, some frustration in not being able to do things I would like to do. Since I lost my eye lashes, it seems it is hard to enjoy TV. After they grow back in I will see if my vision improves and I imagine that I will need an eye examination. I tried eye drops and they only work for a few minutes.
I have slept a lot today, Sunday...it is Monday 227am now and I am ready to go back to bed. My knees were hurting and my feet, but I use Eucalyptus/Spearmint body lotion (Bath and Body works) and that always brings relief. The bitter taste in my mouth keeps me from enjoying much food but I had some potatoes, ice cream and romain lettuce with black olives and olive oil dressing. It didn't taste very good but I imagine that it was a nourishment. And the Sobe Yumberry Pomagrante Life Water with seltzer water whet my whistle.
I see my surgeon tomorrow afternoon and will ask him about how long it will be before I start feeling energized. Of course, I am having a PET scan soon and another oncology appointment that will set the course for the rest of the summer, I'm sure.
These past six months have been tedious--not treacherous; have been a blur and a bummer. But, they have enlightened me as to how I can deal with a dillema like this cancer. Our bodies break down as we age and we expect some bumps in the road. But, when cancer rears it's ugly head, the numbness, realization, fear and major uncertainty can really knock you back.
I remember the first time I saw my oncologist and expected him to say that the Lung Cancer was advanced but in early stages and it could be treated with positive results. I had just read the Stages of Lung Cancer and when he said that I had Stage IV, it knocked me for a loop! I really didn't want to know anymore about it...didn't want to research it or find out more. I just began the treatments and wondered about it. Then I read some cancer blogs and learned courage.
A couple of weeks ago I read a brochure that was telling about how cancer survival rates had improved and it listed the different types of cancer and their survival rate increases since the 70's. My cancer was 4% surviving for 5 years....then I listened to a podcast about lung cancer and some new diagnoses techniques and treatments and they thought they could get it to 15% for 5 years. Not real good odds at all.
And, the main thing that I hear over and over again is that everyone is different and results vary, etc.
I am not discouraged. I am not fearful. I am not steeling myself for a major battle. I am just biding some time until I can get enough energy to Clown again and to study this cancer thing so that I can share information for others. I am waiting, patiently, for a return to enough normality that I can help others. My trust in the Lord and the fine support of everyone has assuredly seen me through this. I only hope that I can dedicate my time to do the same thing that people have done for me. Knowing that you are not alone and that people care enough to ask if you are doing OK is a major help.
So, now that my treatments are over, I have a new vista opening up: How much can I do? and When?
My shoes are waiting for the First Parade !!!
Life is Good...Life is an Adventure !
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