The clowns, Folly and Marty, have been sending me emails telling me what to expect at my chemo sessions. They have been very helpful. They told me that the staff and nurses were Wonderful---and, they were ! I had my own room and would be able to watch TV, walk around, read, etc. I wore the clothes I came in with, so did not have to put on a gown or anything different. I had brought my MP3 player loaded up with CBC pods and Bob and Ray and other old time radio shows along with some music.
The nurse hooked me up to the IV and began loading me up with medicines for side effects. 2 for nausea, benadryl, an anti-acid that was actually for a different effect (rash?) and some others. "Gee," I remarked, "you are giving me more meds for side effects than you are for chemo!" She just smiled, as she explained each one to me. I read her the emails I had received and she thought they were very helpful. She answered all of my questions. At one point I must have looked a little concerned because she asked me if I was all right. I told her that I just felt a little bit of warmth in my abdomen. She told me that the Benadryl would cause that and it would only last a few seconds--which it did. After she had loaded all of the side effect meds into me she told me she had to check on someone else and that she would be back soon. It was at this point that I wish my wife would have come with me...anyway, later on a woman came in carrying a tub with two big bags of medicine pouches and they looked large and liquid and heavy. She sat them down. I started to listen to Bob and Ray and to get into a napping zone, although I wanted to remain awake and to know what all was happening at all times. I started to fall asleep, but I noticed that I wasn't aware of myself doing any breathing and it scared me a bit. So, I started doing my breathing excersises and whenever I would stop I would notice that I didn't have a conscious feeling of breathing, to my chagrin. This was a wee bit disconcerting, but I wasn't in distress and I wasn't gasping for air. I guessed that I just was breathing super light. So, I nodded off to sleep with Bob and Ray talking their nonsense in my already nonsensical head...the nurse came in at one point and I heard her saying something and she was fiddling with my IV. I guessed that she was loading up the Chemo drugs. Later, much later, I awoke about 130pm...I had been there since 8am and they had told me that it would take 4-5 hours. I expected it to be pretty much over. An aide came in and I asked her if I was about done. She looked at the time and at the IV pole that had the meds in bags on it and told me that one was finished and the other one would be done by 330pm. She asked if I had someone coming to pick me up.
So, I called my wife and told her to be there at about 4pm and I should be done. She asked if the guy that brought me said anything about picking me up and I told her that I would have her pick me up.
So, I left the hospital at around 4pm or a little bit after and the Chemo went very well. The nurse told me to take my anti-nausea medicine when I got home and that I would probably be tired the rest of the day.
On the way home, I began to tell my wife about the chemo, but she interrupted and asked me if I cared about our relationship. I said "What?" and "Is this a trick question--like 'Do I look fat in these jeans' " She replied "See, you never want to have a discussion...and, why are you selling your car?" I, at this point was flummoxed. "Well, for one thing, I am selling the car to pay some med bills and for another I can't do any driving right now".
"Did the doctor tell you that you couldn't drive?" "Yes" "Which one?" "All of them!! I am on pain meds and the mass on my neck is right where the seat belt comes across my neck and the mass is pressing on my jugular vein as well as several other blood vessels and I shouldn't be endangering myself or others by driving around"
When we got home I turned on the hall light and took off my coat. I then started to take my anti nausea meds and to write it on the calendar in the hallway. She turned off the light "I pay the electric bills". So, I meekly went into my computer room with my calendar and my flashlight and wrote down my meds and emailed my brother and my son to tell them that everything went all right. Then I retired to my recliner and slept until 4am this morning.
I am blessed to have family, friends, church, clowns and good in-laws to talk to and that care enough about me to include me in their lives. And, I am blessed to have a wife that can be a thorn in my side and keep me grounded and remind me that I should be working instead of being sick. Life is Good. And, what an Adventure !!! Hiding the Bald Spot
Your family,friends,church,clowns and in-laws are blessed to have you. You have probably been a thorn in your wife's side once or twice. Remember to share your feelings and thoughts with her. She is living this scary time along with you so don't let her out of the loop.Allow her some powers in the decision making that must be done. She is afraid also my friend,get her to talk about it.
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