Twisting...balloons !

Went to the Holiday Open House at Wright State University for A Special Wish Foundation, Dayton, Ohio. Vanngo went with me, her sister, Linda drove her there. Our clown alley, Giggles and Grins, provides clowns for the annual event. Alto did a Magic Show and I saw Mickey, Sparklelee, and Lullabelle doing face-painting. Zilcho was twisting balloons. Plucky, Tindy Ducks and a few more clowns were wandering about. It was an awesome time. A Special Wish is a great organization and does a lot of events and grants many special wishes through the year. You can learn more about it here:  A Special Wish .

Vanngo did a very good job of handing Yo-You balloons to the children and blowing a loud horn and announcing the arrival of a "Princess" whenever I made a Princess Wand balloon for one of the girls. I also made hats and alien swords and dogs.

                                                       Vanngo and Careful

                                                     Alvin and the Chipmunks

                                                                    3 Clowns

I have been doing pretty good, feeling more normal. I am still tired a lot and get fatigued, but I am learning to pace myself. One thing though, I have been practicing driving a car again--after a year of no driving, and have noticed that when I do a lot of physical activity (I have been attempting to exercise more), even though I pace myself so as not to be fatigued to the point of collapse, I end-up with sore muscles that take several days to go away. It used to be that I could chalk that up to the age process. It seems more likely to be a combo of aging and chemo.

I made myself some liver and onions yesterday. I prepared the meal the way my mother used to make it. Caramelize the onions with butter and sugar and then lightly flour the liver and fry it in some butter. It came out really tasty. I hope the iron and nutrients that the liver and onions provide will help repair my sore joints and muscles. Although, the mechanism of the Alimta is to starve the cells that ask for nutrients.

I have noticed that I have lost several inches from my waistline. I haven't weighed myself lately, but my last visit to the Oncologist showed that I weighed 161 which has held steady since February. I weighed 180+ going into this whole ordeal, had a robust belly which I could do without. So, getting down to 160 or so is not a bad thing. I graduated High School weighing 158 ! Of course, I fear I may be losing some muscle mass. I will have to ask the Doctor how my body is supposed to repair and replenish itself when the order of the Chemo is to deny it !

So, everything is going smoothly. My next event is in December. Our alley provides clowns for a Rotary Christmas Banquet for Special Needs children in Springfield. It is also a fine time and a lot of fun!

Life is good...Life is an Adventure !!!

3rd Alimta Treatment

I had my 3rd Chemo with Alimta Friday the 31st of August. I take Dexamethasone, a potent steroid to counteract a side effect, namely a rash, the day before and the day after the Chemo. The nurse also injected a dose of it before the Chemo. I told her that after Chemo I usually am awake for 24-30 hours. She said that I was lucky. Lucky? Yes, she added, most people are up for 3 or 4 days! Mercy!
I also told her that I was thinking of asking my Oncologist about stopping treatment for awhile. She noted that he probably wouldn't okay it unless I was having problems. My blood counts are very good and I am tolerating it well, so he would probably want me to stay on it. I am afraid that if I made the decision unilaterally that it might be harder to get back on it...or, God forbid, the cancer come roaring back and I would be having to play a lot of "catch-up"! So, I will discuss this with my Doctor, I trust him and he is always honest and very helpful to me. I will abide by his advice.
I got to Chemo at 8am and was out of there by 1030am. A man from my church, Bill, gave me a ride and stayed in the room with me. He got a kick out of me entertaining the nurses and staff as I entered the Ward. I made a napkin rose, balloon, gave out stickers, showed off my all-day oreo and JoJou the mouse and gave out over-sized ten-dollar bills.  Oh yes, and I gave them all kisses---Hersey Kisses!

When I left Chemo, I went to visit Gary and Susan for awhile. Susan was off with Linda working on my new Clown outfit. I visited Gary for awhile and then went home and got something to eat and visited with my wife. Then, about 530pm I went to Polo's Taco Stand and took some balloons with me. I was in clown character but there weren't any customers. I visited with Polo for awhile and then, as I was leaving, 2 families pulled up. I gave a little girl a yo-yo balloon and some stickers and I gave a boy and girl with the other family an alien sword and princess wand. I made a napkin rose for the father and told him to give it to his "esposo". He thanked me and said that he would be calling me soon to do a birthday party for his daughter in a couple of weeks!
After I left the Taco Stand I headed to a new business in town called Penny Lane Art Gallery and Coffee Shop. Susan and Linda were going to be there and also a blues singer named Doug Hart. When I got there, he was just starting his set. I went to sit with Linda and Susan and a friend of theirs, also named Susan. We all went to High School together. I didn't want to detract from the singer, but I very surreptitiously approached a young couple and gave away a yo-yo balloon and over-sized ten dollar bill and took their pictures with my Polaroid sticker camera. Then, Susan pointed out that their were a couple of kids behind our table, so I showed them JoJou the Mouse and they told me that it wasn't real. I told them it was and I stuck to my story. Then I made an alien sword and princess wand for them and took their pictures with my sticker camera.

I also gave a yo-yo balloon and ten dollar bill to an older couple at another table. Bruce E was at the Cafe and we sat and visited and listened to Doug Hart play several more songs. He was very good.
It was getting to be about 8pm so I decided to get Home. I had something to eat, i.e. two sausages, spinach, fritos a SoBe, graham crackers and a chocolate bar (Hamlet with peanuts). Then, my wife and I watched some Hannity and then Inspector Lewis on PBS (that we taped a few nights ago).
We watched the 700 club earlier in the day and a segment was about a young man that was a magician and contracted Acute Leukemia and it was really "blowing-up" his body. He called on the Lord to show himself and do something. Remember, this guy was a magician. He didn't ask for a healing, per se, he asked the Lord to show him his might, a miracle. The doctors had told him that his condition was rare and only 9 million people might be considered for a match for a bone marrow translplant. They later said they found only 16 matches and could only contact 10 of them !  Then, when they were able to convince just one of them to participate, he had the transplant. The doctors then called his wife out of the room and told her that it might not work and that he would go downhill very fast. Well, it worked! Praise the Lord !
I am going to go to Church tonite (Saturday) and I would like to go Sunday morning, but I know from experience that my Chemo usually kicks in with a lot of fatigue on Sunday near the afternoon so I don't usually manage it. But, I always try. I just am so thankful that the Lord has been through all of this with me and given me the strength and truth to manage it.
When you surrender your soul to the Lord and trust him, he will bring you blessings and Love beyond all understanding.
Life is Good...Life is an Adventure !!!

SoBe lifewater

Well, this Alimta is not too bad...a lot of fatigue for a few days. But, otherwise, it doesn't mess with me like the other Chemo did. I had a few stabbing pains in my stomach from exercising too much. My shoulders have gotten really thin and I tried doing some sit-ups and push-ups. When my body tries to repair or strengthen tissue it signals the Chemo that something is suspicious and it attacks the process right away. They are tweaking drugs all of the time to try to keep them from targeting normal cells but I would imagine that it is very difficult to distinguish between fast-dividing/growing normal cells and cancer cells!
All year long I have been trying different things to get me through this. I have mentioned the Bath and Body Works product of Eucalyptus-Spearmint body lotion that helps with aching joints and peripheral neuropathy. And, the Swiss Kriss that is great for constipation and is all natural. Also, the Chemo changes your sense of taste and meat doesn't always taste very good so I have tried different fish and have also become a regular boiled-egg consumer. Beets and spinach and lettuce and tomatoes and olives taste fine. I don't drink milk anymore. I was constantly hunting for fruit juice that was not from concentrate. I know, buy fruit and make your own...I do that now and again.
Most of the juices and liquids and products that I have purchased in years past are now becoming infused with artificial sweeteners, so I have to spend a lot of time reading labels!
Early on I discovered SoBe Lifewater!
I had gone to a couple of Birthday parties and when someone offered me a bottle of water I was able to take about 3 sips and then I would choke if I drank more! It seemed that the water was just too thin. Carbonated drinks didn't have that effect, but there is way too much sugar in sodas and the sweetness is way too sweet for my taste buds! I tried SoBe and found it to be just the right viscosity and sweetness.

I like the Yumberry Pomegrante and fuji apple and dragonberry. I like all of them, in fact, but I find myself leaning towards the Yumberry most of the time...probably because of the name!
I started Chemo not knowing what to expect and it took several treatments before I was able to become accustomed to all of the side effects and how to deal with them. I read forums and blogs and talked to the Doctors and other people. A lot of the time I got an answer, "Well, everyone is different..." I do know that there are some commonalities though: constipation, hydration, fatigue and weird pains!
That is why I decided to keep this blog updated every step of the way. So that other people can know what to expect and how I am able to cope !
So, the lesson for today is if you want to stay hydrated and you want something that won't choke you and tastes just right and doesn't contain artificial sweeteners and a lot of other garbage -- grab yourself a bottle of SoBe and see if it works for you like it does for me ! This is unsolicited, but if I find a product that I think highly of, then I am going to shout it to the World !
Life is Good...Life is an Adventure !!!

2nd Round of Chemo--Alimta

Well, I had my second round of Alimta on Friday. It went well and faster, too. Last time it took 4 hours but this time it was only 2 hours ! That's an improvement. I looked at my blog from the 1st Alimta and I couldn't get any sleep for a couple of days. This time, I have laid down twice for a couple of hours and couldn't sleep--so I guess that is normal.The lack of sleep is because of the steroids they give me before and after the treatment that is to prevent a rash. I had a rash for several days before this last treatment. On my shoulder and then my back. The medicine apparently works right up until the next treatment.
I also felt like my head was warm, like a fever, but I checked and I didn't have a fever. I started feeling flu-like symptoms but they didn't last long. The extreme fatigue hasn't set in yet, but I imagine that it will by tomorrow evening. I will have to pace myself and watch out for it. It usually lasts for 4-5 days, I think. And then I feel pretty normal.

A woman from the church, Brenda, gave me a ride to my Oncologist on Thursday and then took me to my Chemo on Friday. I am so blessed to belong to a church that can help me with transportation when I need it. My wife has an irratic work schedule so she is not always available.
While I was receiving my Chemo, Marty the Clown stopped by and brought me a really cool shirt...clown shirt...one that squeaks...check it out:

                                      --------> click for video New Shirt

My next Chemo will be on August 31. I need to start looking for some part-time work. I wasn't able to work during my first round of Chemo this year (6 months) because it really laid me low. And, although I kept a good attitude, I know that it was in the back of my mind that things could go horribly wrong...that it could get away from me. I never got depressed, but I came close a few times. Cancer is a strong determinant of how you think about your life. I just kept praying for others and telling God that I was ready to go where ever he had a plan for me. Whether it was to stay on this Earth or to be in Heaven...or to Go to Mars !  Anyway, I made it through the first 6 months of this year and, originally, I thought I might not make it through the Summer. Now, I am hoping to make it to Christmas. According to my Doctors, I have responded well to the Chemo so far and have a good chance of going 4 or 5 more years. But, I will leave that to the Lord. I won't quit, I won't back down, but I will accept whatever comes my way...
I have been fortunate to enjoy a lot of Clowning so far this year. Most of it Volunteer or simply going out and sharing the Smiles. While I am looking for work, I will continue looking for Clown gigs and also volunteer wherever I am needed to do some clowning.
Life is Good...Life is an Adventure !!!!

Here I Go Again

I have begun a new treatment of a Cancer Preventive drug called Alimta. You can read more about it here:  ALIMTA

This drug will maintain the effect of my initial Chemo treatments and help to keep the cancer from re-appearing in another form. I believe in my soul that the Lord has healed me... and, I know from the previous medical treatments that my Doctors have been doing everything they can and that the PET scans and blood tests and CAT scans show that my Cancer has been checked and knocked out.
There is a possibility that the cancer can creep back into my body however, and I have chosen to continue with this new treatment in hopes that it will help others that are faced with this choice. If it works, of if it helps to extend my life and add some knowledge for future patients and future studies then it is a good thing. If I had chosen not to do this treatment and lived another 5 years...who knows...if I take this treatment and live another 5 years, they will be able to tell if it was the result of the treatment or if the treatment was negligible...and, that would be good knowledge for the drug company and for the future patient.
The infusion last only about 15 minutes, but they again filled me with premeds and gave me a B-12 shot. All of the premeds and the B-12 seemed to be to help with my energy levels...I wasn't given these with my other Chemo drugs and they really wore me out...so, this stuff must be powerful ! When I got home, I had been stuck about 3-4 places !  Anyway, no ill effects and I went for a walk afterwards and then ate an egg and drank some ginger ale. I grabbed some SOBE water(Hooray for SOBE, I need to write them), the only good stuff I can find, along with Grapefruit juice--NOT from concentrate-- that is all natural and does not ruin the experience with a lot of sugar or Sucralose...I can't believe they sneak that stuff into SunnyDlite orange juice, local home-made Mehaffies Apple Pies, Five-hour energy drink, Fuze, etc.
I know they must get a good price cut, but if their customers perceive (wrongfully or rightfully) that sucralose and aspartame cause medical problems and they lose a lot of good customers, then was it worth it...there are a lot of Dummies and Gamblers in the business world and they realize their idiotic mistakes much too late...think with your heart and head, not with you wallets and your crotch !
So, so far I am feeling pretty good. My last chemos kicked into high gear 3 days later and lasted a week or more with bad energy and roving pains...but manageable. I fully plan to kick back hard at this treatment...I am going to look for work and try to get off disability...it doesn't pay the bills and I don't want anything holding me back from enjoying life...even if I can work part-time, I should be able to afford extra ice-cream and balloons and what-not...
Anyway, the treatment today actually lasted from 8am to Noon because of the premeds and watching for reactions and getting blood results. the nurse was surprised that I was Stage IV Lung Cancer and looking and doing so well !  And, all of the nurses had to laugh when I read them that a side effect of Alimta might be that my hair would fall out....It was just starting to GROW-BACK !!!!
  Oh well...

Life is Good...Life is an Adventure !!!

Clowning Sources

People are always asking where I get my wacky ideas when I am clowning. Most of the time they just pop into my head. Of course, when a clown is in the Element, the more things go wrong the better the clowning goes. We are going to have balloons pop while we are blowing them up and it always elicits a laugh. Most clowns have a line that they use when that happens, i.e. "I meant to do that!" or "Is someone making popcorn?". If a magic trick goes awry it is a good thing for a clown. In fact, there are magic tricks provided for clowns that feature a failure!
I just noticed that a well-known clown is on Facebook ( and we friended each other). His name is Bubba and he has a wealth of ideas. I have attended more than a few of his classes at Clown Conferences and I remember one time in particular that he was talking about the clowning opportunities he finds in his numerous travels. He said that he was at a truck stop, or restaurant, and noticed the restroom signs and saw an opportunity to clown around. I should mention that he also has a clown ministry. He said that it popped into his cranium that he should attach the letter "A" in front of the sign for the Men's room. Now, clowns don't steal other clown's gags, even though they might give permission. So, if you are in a truck stop or at a restaurant and see an altered restroom sign, you can be sure that Bubba was there! He has an active clown mind and is always looking for opportunities to share some wackiness.
Bubba also has an amazing clown store. Whenever someone asks where I get some of my gags or props I always use my standard line, "From the Secret Clown Store!" It is not that I don't want civilians messing around with Clown Stuff, it's just a line that I came up with one time when I couldn't remember where I had actually bought the thing...but, I will share the link to Bubba's Clown Supplies because he has the biggest variety of any clown store ! **** click on this ---> BUBBA

That is a part of clowning. Seeing something normal and finding a way to inject some humor into it.
I posted a video yesterday that demonstrates that attitude:

Clown Nose Life Extension (video link)

Someone asked how I thought of leaving the nose in the package and I figured that it popped into my head as I was just looking at the package...but, upon further reflection, I realize that it must have been a subconscious explosion from an experience from my toddler years. You see, my mother used to give my brothers and I a treat occasionally and I remember how she would sometimes give us suckers that still had the cellophane on them. The little, colorful suckers with the white stick. We would have them in our mouths while we were playing and after an hour of tasteless enjoyment, we would lay them down. My mom would notice this and then take the wrapper off. Voila! A brand new sucker--with Flavor !!! Years later I asked her about this and her only explanation was that we were fairly poor and, we being so young and gullible, the suckers would last all afternoon!
My father also had a weird sense of humor. I remember him and my mom arguing (mildly) one time about toys. He mentioned that he never had any toys while he was growing-up. My mother responded by saying that he was "full of it" because he was spoiled because he was an only child. My father said, no he didn't have any toys. But, growing-up on a farm, he remembered one time when his mother was out in the barnyard and looking for something for dinner. He said she grabbed a duck and wrung it's neck and then proceeded to clean it. When she was finished, she called my dad over and handed him the duck's bill and told him to go play. He said he ran around the barnyard all afternoon with that duck bill in his hand and yelling "Quack, Quack, Quack...". He said that was the only toy he remembered and that ended the argument in a hail of laughter !
So, I don't know where my ideas actually come from. I only know that having been exposed to parents with a wonderfully skewed sense of humor and by attending Clown Conferences...and by always looking for the "Zany" in my life experiences--there is always a treasure trove of ideas.
Life is Good...Life is an Adventure !!!

Proud as a Peacock (and Just as Pretty)

      (credit: Sunflower Clowne)
I was able to participate in the Fairborn Parade for the 4th of July this past week! And, I walked nearly the whole thing !
In Klown Kollege we were taught to cover our arms and if our neck was bare, we should apply make-up to the front and sides and back of the neck. However, it being so very, very hot on the 4th, I chose to wear my Red Skelton T-shirt with a pair of formal shirt cuffs w/jeweled cuff-links. I took my new, formal jacket replete with medals and colorful epaulets and made good use of it when I passed the viewing stand.
The Giggles and Grins Clown Alley had a sparse attendance, possibly due to the heat. Mickey, Boof, Sunflower, Good Grief and Wally were there. The crowd was surprisingly large and, as always, very appreciative of the Spectacle. I passed a few stickers out to the audience as well as a very few, select clown noses.
I walked the first portion of the Parade and as we neared the viewing stand I climbed into the GnG truck and put on my Jacket. But, I was able to walk four-fifths of the Parade! I don't know how I did it. Possibly because I had a B-12 shot a few days prior and was starting on a regimen of Folic Acid, I don't know. Maybe it was because I was so excited to be able to attend my first parade for this year. I started the year taking fairly long walks, but back in April or so I found that I could only walk a hundred yards or so before my energy gave out.

So, I was very proud to be able to walk in the Parade! And, I fully expected to pay dearly for it the next day. However, I wasn't sore or overly-tired! The weather has remained hot and even though I had some more events to do, I decided that I had better not push my luck and so I have pretty much stayed home for the days since the Parade.
I really want to being doing more and hopefully I will get the chance. Right now, though, I need to re-build my strength in order to start my new Chemo treatment on the 21st of July. The previous 6 Chemos took a lot out of me and I have no idea what this new drug will be doing with me. As soon as I start the treatment and can see how well I am doing on it, I may be able to start volunteering again at the library and looking for some other opportunities. I certainly hope so.
With regards to Cancer, I have been thinking about how fortunate I am to be doing so well, It is a real shock to one's lifestyle to realize that every change in your body makes you immediately think of the Cancer. I used to think that my aches and pains were related to aging or my bad back. When I got some sniffles I figured that I was getting allergies or a cold. But, not anymore. Any little change in my health immediately raises red flags and I wonder if the cancer is coming back to attack me again. Of course, some things I wonder if the Chemo is responsible, but it is always at the forefront of my thoughts that Cancer is going to try to do me in. No matter how much I try to ignore it or put it out of my mind, it is just something that won't get out of my thoughts. I would imagine that anyone that has been diagnosed with cancer feels this way. Even if you find that the cancer has been defeated or pushed into remission, you are always on the alert for signs that it is back knocking on your door! Bummer...I should just roll with the punches and joke about it...maybe someday I will.

                                                 Sunflower, Boof and Careful the Clown (credit: M.Thompson)

                                                  Sunflower, Careful the Clown and Mickey(credit: M.Thompson)

I am so happy to have been in the Parade! And, happy to hang out with my Clown Buddies! And, Proud to have been able to walk so far with the Parade!
Life is Good...Life is an Adventure !!!

Last of the Chemo !

Friday, June 1st was my 6th and final Chemo. From previous experiences, I know that I will start Monday with the side effects of roving pains and diminishing energy levels. I have found that starting the day with a boiled egg gives me enough energy to go visiting for a few hours. I usually get a bitter taste in my mouth and the things that have always tasted good---don't taste good anymore, e.g. cinnamon rolls, ham loaf, hamburgers, pizza, toast and jam, etc. I eat romaine lettuce with paul newman olive oil dressing and pickled beets and parmesan cheese. I have soup and I eat baby food: turkey and rice, sweet potatoes and oatmeal and fruit.
As for liquids, I used to drink Sunny Delight because it was the only orange juice that didn't give me acid indigestion. But, I found that it contained the artificial sweetner, sucralose, so I stopped buying it. I stopped buying fruit juices because half the time they contained sucralose or else they were from concentrate and had a lot of artificial flavoring and colors and preservatives. I stopped drinking Gatorade because they began adding sucralose ! I used to buy an occasional 5-hour energy drink but, they too, added sucralose! Bummer !
I bought Grapefruit juice because it was all natural and NOT from concentrate. It used to be very tart and bitter, but I discovered that because of the change in my taste buds, that it actually tasted sweet and full and I actually could feel it nourishing my body ! And, I discovered SOBE Lifewater which comes in a lot of flavors and has a variety of herbs and vitamins. I like yumberry and dragon berry and ginseng. This is a good value and good nutrition and tastes great. It works for me !
I also discovered that if I drank bottled water it would go down into my lungs on the 3rd sip ! But, I can drink a carbonated drink or one of the above drinks (grapefruit, SOBE) and they don't go down the "wrong pipe". Drinking the occasional Dr. Pepper or Coke or ginger ale, etc., tasted great and went down happy and smooth ! Screw you, Mayor Bloombird and your addled, megalomanical ideas on what people should be eating and drinking---your thought process is as twisted as Caligula's...
And, a Vitamin D supplement, I took on numerous advice(s), kept me from getting a cold or infection.
I also took a Vitamin E supplement in the form of Fish Oil.
I am on a regimen of pain killers and had to watch out for constipation. Louis Armstrong used to promote Swiss Kriss (I found this via my brother) and it works great ! I shared it with several deserving friends and they thanked me profusely...because it worked great for them as nothing else compared!
I experienced some apprehension as I readied myself for my last Chemo (I know, this segue is skewed). It is because of the waning of energy the days before a Chemo. 3 weeks from now, when I no longer have treatments and my energy begins to fade...well, what will happen? And, the joint pains and worries about finances and work and life, etc. Will they become magnified?
But, I faced the day and thanks to the new tie that my good friend, Susan F (nee E) made for me, I set out for the regimen. Thanks also to Donna for the ride to the treatment. And, thanks also to my dear wife for coming to take me home afterward.

The staff at the hospital, where I take my medicine, are excellent and are very professional and happy. I need to remind myself to do something special for them (along with finding the means to pay their bills !).
I, of course, slept through the treatment. It started at 8am, and although it usually lasts until 4pm, this time it was over by 230pm. I awoke at 1pm and the nurse was changing my med. Then I went back to sleep and re-awoke at 215pm and she said I was finished !
After I got out of bed and put on my shoes and gathered my belongings, I made sure the two nurses had clown noses and stickers and chocolate candy. Then I asked one of the nurses to hold my video camera and film me as I tested my motor skills. I tried to juggle some clown noses. As jugglers are well aware, lightweight objects don't juggle well. But, I tried anyway and met with no success. I did find, however, that I could bend down to pick up the noses without getting dizzy. Then I tried throwing my hat in the air in hopes that it would return to the top of my head. I am want to do that from time to time. It is a great crowd pleaser---no matter the outcome, because it is a ClownThing ! Reviewing the video, I see that it worked far better than I thought it would!
I have learned from these Chemo treatments that if you have good and varied support groups. If you have a good Spiritual foundation or maniacal philosophy (I have the Spiritual foundation, thankyou). And, if you have a dedicated and experienced and positive Medical Team. And, you maintain a positive and uplifting attitude. If you carry a Smile with you and share it Whole-heartedly. If you make sure to engage in moderate exercise: short 100 yard walks, Tai chi, stretches, yoga breathing-responses, etc.; and, the use of Eucalyptus Spearmint body lotion for joint pain and aromatherapy. And, if you begin to experience Chemo-brain (very real)--then, decide that the only priority is not remembering things but just going forward and seizing the day (carping the diem). If you decide that life is for living! Having a fatalistic attitude is counter-poductive! Dream your dreams and forget about your problems. Don't focus on "fighting" but rather, use this health set-back as a learning experience. Put on a smile-- learn all about yourself and others. Don't draw-up a bucket list. Every move you make from now on is a bucket list. As you wake every morning, know that everything you experience during the day is special and inspiring and educational and take advantage of that ! In other words, as you witness the Sun rise in the morning, don't say to yourself, "This could be my last..."  Instead, say to yourself, "That Sun-rising is really beautiful...I should go visit someone and tell them about it !"  Then, get moving. You never know what Life has in store for you unless you let it show it to you and then share it with others !

Life is Good...Life is an Adventure !

Here is how I left my last Chemo:

                      short video:                   The Off-duty Clown Returns !

Chemo Brain

Well, I finished harvesting the Red Noses from my Red Clown Nose Trees yesterday afternoon. I planted them in November of last year and I thought that they came up pretty well although I was expecting a larger crop. There is a link to a video with some tips and instructions on planting your own. Last year I planted Rubber Chickens (the video for that is also on my YouTube channel) but I thought that I would try Noses this time. What next ? Maybe some of each and then I might try to plant some Assorted Noisemakers. I hear that they produce like wildflowers.

The reason I decided to do the harvesting today is because I felt like I have been in a fog the last few days. This 2nd round of Chemo was manageable but lasted longer with the side effects. The pain wasn't too bad but the fatigue was heavy. Also, I have been having trouble with my eyes. My vision is about 80% with or without glasses. Also, my thinking is foggy and I write myself a lot of notes but I am having unusual memory problems.  Sometimes I get to the end of a sentence or try to remember a name or word and instead of trying to remember or even getting frustrated with being lacking, I just pass it off immediately and carry on. If I am talking about a news item and the person (famous) is hard to picture or vocalize, I just go on with the story and don't worry if anyone knows what I am saying. Same way with missing a word or two. Usually, when you are grasping for a word you pause for the audience to fill in the blank or else you riffle through the pages of your mind for the word or it's equivalent. Also, on my walks or forays to visit friends or businesses, I feel as if I am not quite all there. Like the proverbial "under-water" feeling...

I also had one or two spells of waking up and feeling like I had a burp caught in my upper chest, before the throat and I couldn't get it out and I could not exhale or inhale. I jumped from bed and stumbled a few paces until, finally, I could breathe. That happened once early on, several weeks ago and I was just sitting an d watching TV and noticed that I wasn't breathing and couldn't breathe. It didn't cause a panic---but it caused some major consternation as I had never experienced this before. I know, I am going to alert my Doctor to this. I commonly have burps that just don't want to show themselves. Oh, well...I'll see what the Doc says.

I walk often and it is tiring but also invigorating. It strengthens me. 

So, when I started experiencing this Chemo Brain, I looked it up. I had heard of it from a couple of clown friends who were familiar with it. I walk to fight fatigue and to gain strength and endurance....so, it is only natural that I would come home today and decide to record a video. Keeping active mentally will at least, I hope, let me muddle through this muddle they call Chemo Brain...and I have heard that it passes some time after the Chemo has ended. Well, enjoy my little Gardening video. Life is good and Life is an Adventure !!!

Red Clown Nose Trees video