I was working out of a Day Labor office and they had sent a group of us workers to a warehouse in the suburbs that had been leased to a major Department store. They were getting their Spring fashions into the warehouse and we were assigned to unpack them from the cartons and hang them on racks, sorting them by size. I was working in the area of Women's dresses and suits. It was easy work and a nice environment. Unlike most of the jobs that the agency sent us to work at.
Well, 2 hours or so into the work, I found it necessary to go to the bathroom. For some odd reason, the restrooms were in the middle of the warehouse, free-standing like one would see at a park. Not out,on the edge of the building, but in the middle of the floor. I ducked into the Men's room and was immediately met with a wall of cigarette smoke. "It's OK!" someone said, rather loudly. For a minute I thought they must be smoking pot. No, it was only cigarettes. There were, of course, signs forbidding smoking. I was a smoker so I thought, "This is cool, I can have a smoke while I am in here."
I had never snuck a cigarette before, not even in High School (I don't think I even smoked back then). This was a forbidden desire and I didn't warm to it right off. In fact, I thought it was rather juvenile. I was in my mid-30's, as were most of these characters and it seemed decidedly stupid and silly. Well, I took a leak and then noticed someone exiting a stall. The temptation got to me and I ducked into it thinking that if the fools by the sinks got busted that I would be safe because I would be locked in a stall with a toilet bowl to toss my cig into.
The minute I closed the door the stench hit me. The toilet was stopped up. Oh well, the cigarette would mask the smell and the methane would mask my smoke, I reasoned. I lit up and decided to sit down to have a relaxing time. I noticed toilet seat covers and decided this would be good since the seat was most likely contaminated with who knows what. I spread it over the seat and decided to sit right down. I had smoked maybe half of my cigarette when I heard someone say, "I think it's a boss!"
I took a long, quick drag and tried to toss the cig in the toilet while I was still sitting. Not a good idea...that toilet seat cover was highly flammable and the escaping methane from the stopped-up toilet probably contributed to the conflagration! My jeans began to burn and I quickly beat the fire out while I was still sitting. I jumped up and grabbed the toilet seat cover and threw it in the toilet and flushed it---knowing that I would have to run because it was going to flow over.
Luckily, there was no boss that had come in, but the other guys gave me a weird look when they saw my smoking jeans. I just said, "Always stand up before you throw your cigarette in the toilet...". They chuckled, I splashed some water on my jeans and washed my hands and went back to work, wondering why I hadn't just waited another half an hour for break time and gone outside for a smoke. It sure wasn't fun sneaking a smoke and I don't see the forbidden adrenaline rush fascination for doing something that sophomoric. So, I have never been tempted to do it again.
But, a year later, while I was in the large Public Library downtown I decided to roll a Bugler cigarette in the middle of the lobby and a security guard rushed up to me and demanded that I put it out. Some quick thinking on my part got me out of that one....I'll tell you about it and another similar incident in my next blog--if you'll let me!
Hey, Life is Good....Life is an Adventure !!!
the fire out while I was still sitting. I jumped up and grabbed the toilet seat cover and threw it in the toilet and flushed it---knowing that I would have to run because it was going to flow over.
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